By Shirley, on November 7th, 2017 No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. — Eleanor RooseveltThe challenge of owning our feelings
As human beings, we have a tendency to blame others for our feelings when their behavior triggers our deep emotions.
“You make me so mad when you….” “You make me feel guilty when you…” “You hurt my . . . → Read More: How to reduce reactivity & blame
By Shirley, on August 31st, 2017 What people really need is a good listening to. -Mary Lou Casey A good alternative to nagging
I was recently reminded of how beneficial a weekly “check-in and alignment meeting” with your partner can be. During a coaching session, my client expressed a concern that she was nagging her husband. This was having a negative . . . → Read More: The little meeting with your partner that can make a big difference
By Shirley, on May 18th, 2017 How might our relationships be different, if we gave up “being right” and sought instead to understand and connect? I think the impact is potentially profound – on a personal and a global level.
Something to think about
Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right or to be . . . → Read More: It pays to give up being right
By Shirley, on February 15th, 2017 Be present & enjoy your moments. Life is precious & control is a huge illusion.
— Linda Aris
In honour
This Valentine’s Day I want to honour my dear friend, Linda Aris, and her partner, Hayward. Linda died on January 19th after a two and a half year journey with brain cancer. Linda was . . . → Read More: Love when the rubber meets the road
By Shirley, on October 28th, 2016 Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. — Stephen Covey
It’s a universal experience
I think it’s safe to say that we have all experienced a trust breakdown at some point in our lives. Some years ago I . . . → Read More: 7 Ways To Develop Trust With Others
By Shirley, on April 25th, 2014 Often we have private conversations with ourselves about what others should and should not do. But we never make overt and open requests of these people. Subsequently, when they don’t do what we expect, we’re disappointed, resentful and angry. –Matthew Budd & Larry Rothstein
The art of making effective requests
We all need to enlist . . . → Read More: Reduce your frustration by making powerful requests
By Shirley, on August 9th, 2013 I recently wrote an article entitled Why it’s OK to say NO and 3 tips for doing it gracefully. Check it out. The more I deal with people who struggle to maintain and enforce their boundaries around their own time and energy, the more I have come to appreciate that we MUST be able to . . . → Read More: The art of saying NO
By Shirley, on February 14th, 2013 “Relationship skills do not come with genes, they come with practice.” — Harville Hendrix
THE THREE C’S THAT COST YOU LOVE AND KILL ROMANCE
In my work with clients and in my own relationships, I’ve seen over and over again the destructive power of these three behaviours:
1) Criticizing 2) Comparing and 3) Capitulating
These . . . → Read More: 3 Obstacles to Love & How to Transform Them
By Shirley, on November 6th, 2012 “You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” — Mary Manin Morrissey
Preventing a repeat of the past
Many single and divorced men and women, who are dating and looking for a new relationship, harbour fears that they will repeat negative patterns from their past relationships. This is . . . → Read More: Dating Preparedness: How to make smart choices & avoid a repeat of the past
By Shirley, on September 13th, 2012 Mark your calendar!
I want to invite you to join me for a teleclass on September 21st, 9:00amPacific. Hosted by my friend and respected colleague, Jan Carley, we will be exploring the topic of boundaries. What are they? Why have them? How to be more effective in keeping them? I would love to have . . . → Read More: How to create and maintain healthy life boundaries
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