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It’s been ten years since I wrote the following article about the dynamics between mothers and their adult daughters. A recent re-read has inspired me to share it again – with a few updates – in honour of Mother’s Day. These ideas, inspired by the work of Deborah Tanen, have helped me be less . . . → Read More: Understanding mothers and daughters Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end. ― Robin S. Sharma Change happens Even if you have a very stable relationship, you will experience the turbulence of change at times. If you and your partner are growing, then change is inevitable. And any change that one partner . . . → Read More: How to pull together (not apart) when things change No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. — Eleanor RooseveltThe challenge of owning our feelings As human beings, we have a tendency to blame others for our feelings when their behavior triggers our deep emotions. “You make me so mad when you….” “You make me feel guilty when you…” “You hurt my . . . → Read More: How to reduce reactivity & blame What people really need is a good listening to. -Mary Lou Casey A good alternative to nagging I was recently reminded of how beneficial a weekly “check-in and alignment meeting” with your partner can be. During a coaching session, my client expressed a concern that she was nagging her husband. This was having a negative . . . → Read More: The little meeting with your partner that can make a big difference  Comments are closed  communication, relationship skills  couple communication, couples, listen to your partner, listen to your spouse, marriage How might our relationships be different, if we gave up “being right” and sought instead to understand and connect? I think the impact is potentially profound – on a personal and a global level. Something to think about Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right or to be . . . → Read More: It pays to give up being right Comments are closed communication cost of being right, couple communication, listening skills, listening to another's viewpoint Be present & enjoy your moments. Life is precious & control is a huge illusion. — Linda Aris In honour This Valentine’s Day I want to honour my dear friend, Linda Aris, and her partner, Hayward. Linda died on January 19th after a two and a half year journey with brain cancer. Linda was . . . → Read More: Love when the rubber meets the road Comments are closed inspiring story of love committed couples, loving relationships, loving when it's hard Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. — Stephen Covey It’s a universal experience I think it’s safe to say that we have all experienced a trust breakdown at some point in our lives. Some years ago I . . . → Read More: 7 Ways To Develop Trust With Others Comments are closed Uncategorized couples and trust, Ways to develop trust, what does trust mean, when to trust someone, when trust breaks down Often we have private conversations with ourselves about what others should and should not do. But we never make overt and open requests of these people. Subsequently, when they don’t do what we expect, we’re disappointed, resentful and angry. –Matthew Budd & Larry Rothstein The art of making effective requests We all need to enlist . . . → Read More: Reduce your frustration by making powerful requests Comments are closed Uncategorized couple communication, loving relationships, marriage, relationship advice, relationship coaching I recently wrote an article entitled Why it’s OK to say NO and 3 tips for doing it gracefully. Check it out. The more I deal with people who struggle to maintain and enforce their boundaries around their own time and energy, the more I have come to appreciate that we MUST be able to . . . → Read More: The art of saying NO “Relationship skills do not come with genes, they come with practice.” — Harville Hendrix THE THREE C’S THAT COST YOU LOVE AND KILL ROMANCE In my work with clients and in my own relationships, I’ve seen over and over again the destructive power of these three behaviours: 1) Criticizing 2) Comparing and 3) Capitulating These . . . → Read More: 3 Obstacles to Love & How to Transform Them Comments are closed Uncategorized love, loving relationships, marriage, obstacles to love, relationship advice, relationship coaching |
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