A personal update

Dear friends,

Instead of my usual article, this post takes the form of a personal sharing.  I’ll be taking a little pause in writing this newsletter and I wanted to fill you in on why.  To do that, I’ve needed to revisit a bit of history.

How it began 

June marked the 16th anniversary of writing my newsletter!  Some of you have been with me all this time, for which I am grateful.

I began writing in 2006 with a newsletter called Get Ready For Love! and it was geared to singles. At the time, I was doing a lot of coaching with single or divorced clients, who were wanting to create a relationship with someone new – someone who would hopefully be a better fit for them than their partners of the past. I wrote about some of the topics that I felt were significant in making the journey from being single to being in relationship. 

The Conscious Dating coaching program that I work with includes many articles about dating to find a committed partner.  After about two years of writing my Get Ready newsletter, I had said everything additional that I wanted to.  I ran out of steam for writing about “finding” a relationship.  My focus shifted to writing about what makes relationships tick.

Making it work

Whether single or partnered, at home or at work, I noticed that many struggled with relationship dynamics. I was passionate about sharing what I and others were learning about what works and doesn’t work in relationship. My Fulfilling Relationships newsletter was born! 

Since then I have written over 50 articles about relationship – relationship with others and with self.  Drawing on experts and my own experience, I’ve shared many things that I’ve found to be helpful and important in having high quality relationships — as well as highlighting behaviours and attitudes that tend to undermine them.  It has been a rich journey!

Change is afoot

However the tides are shifting again, as my work and my interests turn more and more to matters of soul and spirit — and coming to terms with the truth that this sojourn on planet earth is a finite appearance.  I guess it’s not surprising that “third chapter” questions and issues are increasingly on my mind.

This shift has coincided with my unfolding journey as a spiritual director or “spiritual companion”.  This role is one of accompaniment – the “walking with” another as they explore and deepen into their spirituality – however they might name or define that.   I began my training in this area in 2014 and that journey eventually led to my joining the leadership team (in 2021) for the Soulguiding program: “a two year experiential program in the growth of spirit, the love of soul and the art of spiritual direction”.  Working with an inspiring group of team members and an amazing cohort of participants, this labour of love has really stretched me!  

I continue to love my coaching work – and it has been wonderful to see how this work of “accompaniment” has expanded my ability to be present in the deeper questions and conversations of life with my coaching clients.  I’ve expanded to include spiritual direction clients in my private practice. 

A wider view

While all this has been going on, other changes have been taking place in our world.  My focus has been shifting beyond the personal to the social systems in which we experience our personal relationships.  This has shown up in a variety of ways: 

  • My husband and I took part in a Gender Reconciliation program, which gave me a new appreciation for how our gender roles constrain and limit both women and men — as well as those who don’t see themselves at home in this binary worldview at all. 
  • Covid happened and my (and everyone’s) personal health is no longer personal.  It now affects and is affected by the collective and we’ve all wrestled with what this means.
  • The murder of George Floyd and anti-racism protests happened and I, along with so many others, am wrestling with and finding my place in the conversations around racism, privilege and white supremacy.  I add to this focus Vancouver’s concerning increase in anti-Asian hate crimes.
  • And now we have the recent discovery of the 215 graves at Kamloops Residential School; and as I write this I have just learned that hundreds of more unmarked graves have now been discovered at a Saskatchewan residential school. These discoveries underline the great need for truth-telling, healing and reconciliation with Indigenous peoples in Canada.

So many important matters to reflect on, get educated on and discern how I want to respond.

And the deeply personal 

Then in late April my mother passed away (not from Covid).  I had the good fortune to be with her in her final days and mark her passing with my siblings.  On May 29th we had a family ZOOM gathering to toast my Mom on what would have been her 100th birthday.  I have relished a more spacious schedule since then to digest and honour the loss of my dear Mom.  I feel the reverberation of being without living parents – a shifting of the planets in my life.

And now?

So much has been stirring in both my inner and outer worlds that I find myself not quite sure what I want to be writing about, nor certain of what I now have to say.

So in terms of this newsletter, I’ll be taking some time to pause. Change is afoot; however I don’t yet know what comes next. Rest assured that you will be the first to know when clarity comes! I deeply value the connection I enjoy with so many of you through this medium. 

Take a look

In the meantime, all of my past articles are available on my website.  It’s amazing how often one or another of them is pertinent to a challenge being experienced by one of my clients.  We all struggle at times with issues around boundariesreactivity and blamemaintaining connectionthe high cost of “being right”dealing with change and loss — to name just a few.  So feel free to dip into the listing and see if you find a topic particularly relevant to something you may be struggling with or facing.  Scroll down to the bottom of the list to find the articles written specifically for singles.

May you too have the opportunity to pause as needed this summer.  May you enjoy many moments of connection, as things continue to open up for us all,


Comments are closed.