My best tip for a great vacation

Summer is finally here! Beauty is everywhere and I hope you’re finding opportunities to play in the sun. If you want to set yourself up for a satisfying summer vacation, read on for a personal tip that has served me in my relationship for years.

Not every vacation is equal.

—Shawn Anchor

When vacations . . . → Read More: My best tip for a great vacation

How to pull together (not apart) when things change

Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end. ― Robin S. Sharma

Change happens

Even if you have a very stable relationship, you will experience the turbulence of change at times. If you and your partner are growing, then change is inevitable. And any change that one partner . . . → Read More: How to pull together (not apart) when things change

How to reduce reactivity & blame

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. — Eleanor RooseveltThe challenge of owning our feelings

As human beings, we have a tendency to blame others for our feelings when their behavior triggers our deep emotions.

“You make me so mad when you….” “You make me feel guilty when you…” “You hurt my . . . → Read More: How to reduce reactivity & blame

The little meeting with your partner that can make a big difference

What people really need is a good listening to. -Mary Lou Casey A good alternative to nagging

I was recently reminded of how beneficial a weekly “check-in and alignment meeting” with your partner can be. During a coaching session, my client expressed a concern that she was nagging her husband. This was having a negative . . . → Read More: The little meeting with your partner that can make a big difference

Reduce your frustration by making powerful requests

Often we have private conversations with ourselves about what others should and should not do. But we never make overt and open requests of these people. Subsequently, when they don’t do what we expect, we’re disappointed, resentful and angry. –Matthew Budd & Larry Rothstein

The art of making effective requests

We all need to enlist . . . → Read More: Reduce your frustration by making powerful requests

3 Obstacles to Love & How to Transform Them

“Relationship skills do not come with genes, they come with practice.” — Harville Hendrix

THE THREE C’S THAT COST YOU LOVE AND KILL ROMANCE

In my work with clients and in my own relationships, I’ve seen over and over again the destructive power of these three behaviours:

1) Criticizing 2) Comparing and 3) Capitulating

These . . . → Read More: 3 Obstacles to Love & How to Transform Them

Love is a commitment to live life from two perspectives

I recently read a definition of love that really captivated me and validated my own experience in a long-term marriage. I came across this definition in a book review in the Economist magazine (Truly, madly, deeply).

The book, In Praise of Love is based on a conversation between French philosopher Alain Badiou and French journalist . . . → Read More: Love is a commitment to live life from two perspectives