Understanding mothers and daughters

It’s been ten years since I wrote the following article about the dynamics between mothers and their adult daughters. A recent re-read has inspired me to share it again – with a few updates – in honour of Mother’s Day.

These ideas, inspired by the work of Deborah Tanen, have helped me be less . . . → Read More: Understanding mothers and daughters

How to pull together (not apart) when things change

Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end. ― Robin S. Sharma

Change happens

Even if you have a very stable relationship, you will experience the turbulence of change at times. If you and your partner are growing, then change is inevitable. And any change that one partner . . . → Read More: How to pull together (not apart) when things change

How to reduce reactivity & blame

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. — Eleanor RooseveltThe challenge of owning our feelings

As human beings, we have a tendency to blame others for our feelings when their behavior triggers our deep emotions.

“You make me so mad when you….” “You make me feel guilty when you…” “You hurt my . . . → Read More: How to reduce reactivity & blame

The little meeting with your partner that can make a big difference

What people really need is a good listening to. -Mary Lou Casey A good alternative to nagging

I was recently reminded of how beneficial a weekly “check-in and alignment meeting” with your partner can be. During a coaching session, my client expressed a concern that she was nagging her husband. This was having a negative . . . → Read More: The little meeting with your partner that can make a big difference

It pays to give up being right

How might our relationships be different, if we gave up “being right” and sought instead to understand and connect? I think the impact is potentially profound – on a personal and a global level.

Something to think about

Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right or to be . . . → Read More: It pays to give up being right