It pays to give up being right

How might our relationships be different, if we gave up “being right” and sought instead to understand and connect? I think the impact is potentially profound – on a personal and a global level.

Something to think about

Attachment to being right creates suffering. When you have a choice to be right or to be . . . → Read More: It pays to give up being right

Love when the rubber meets the road

Be present & enjoy your moments. Life is precious & control is a huge illusion.

— Linda Aris

In honour

This Valentine’s Day I want to honour my dear friend, Linda Aris, and her partner, Hayward. Linda died on January 19th after a two and a half year journey with brain cancer. Linda was . . . → Read More: Love when the rubber meets the road

7 Ways To Develop Trust With Others

Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. — Stephen Covey

It’s a universal experience

I think it’s safe to say that we have all experienced a trust breakdown at some point in our lives. Some years ago I . . . → Read More: 7 Ways To Develop Trust With Others

Reduce your frustration by making powerful requests

Often we have private conversations with ourselves about what others should and should not do. But we never make overt and open requests of these people. Subsequently, when they don’t do what we expect, we’re disappointed, resentful and angry. –Matthew Budd & Larry Rothstein

The art of making effective requests

We all need to enlist . . . → Read More: Reduce your frustration by making powerful requests

The art of saying NO

I recently wrote an article entitled Why it’s OK to say NO and 3 tips for doing it gracefully. Check it out. The more I deal with people who struggle to maintain and enforce their boundaries around their own time and energy, the more I have come to appreciate that we MUST be able to . . . → Read More: The art of saying NO

3 Obstacles to Love & How to Transform Them

“Relationship skills do not come with genes, they come with practice.” — Harville Hendrix

THE THREE C’S THAT COST YOU LOVE AND KILL ROMANCE

In my work with clients and in my own relationships, I’ve seen over and over again the destructive power of these three behaviours:

1) Criticizing 2) Comparing and 3) Capitulating

These . . . → Read More: 3 Obstacles to Love & How to Transform Them

Dating Preparedness: How to make smart choices & avoid a repeat of the past

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” — Mary Manin Morrissey

Preventing a repeat of the past

Many single and divorced men and women, who are dating and looking for a new relationship, harbour fears that they will repeat negative patterns from their past relationships. This is . . . → Read More: Dating Preparedness: How to make smart choices & avoid a repeat of the past

How to create and maintain healthy life boundaries

Mark your calendar!

I want to invite you to join me for a teleclass on September 21st, 9:00amPacific. Hosted by my friend and respected colleague, Jan Carley, we will be exploring the topic of boundaries. What are they? Why have them? How to be more effective in keeping them? I would love to have . . . → Read More: How to create and maintain healthy life boundaries

Beyond reactivity: Cultivating Spiritual Intelligence

Many of us struggle with the challenge of emotional reactivity in our relationships. Often clients that I talk with are reluctant to bring up difficult or sensitive topics with their partner because they are worried that she/he will react emotionally – perhaps with anger, with tears or by withdrawing and shutting them out.

If their . . . → Read More: Beyond reactivity: Cultivating Spiritual Intelligence

Love is a commitment to live life from two perspectives

I recently read a definition of love that really captivated me and validated my own experience in a long-term marriage. I came across this definition in a book review in the Economist magazine (Truly, madly, deeply).

The book, In Praise of Love is based on a conversation between French philosopher Alain Badiou and French journalist . . . → Read More: Love is a commitment to live life from two perspectives